Rector's Reflection: Curious, Not Judgmental, May 17, 2025

Beloved Members of St. Martin’s,

One of my favorite bits of wisdom from the TV series Ted Lasso was this observation: “Be curious, not judgmental.” Ted was saying this in the context of not judging people based on our own assumptions, rather than getting to know people personally by being curious about them. The root of Ted Lasso’s coaching of others is always grounded in humility and genuine curiosity to get to know people. As Ted himself remarks, he always goes into each situation, especially conflicts, asking himself, “What have I got to learn here?” And especially as a teacher, I love this observation of his: “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.”

All three of these sayings apply so well to our ongoing developing life in Christ—especially the part we live outside the confines of St. Martin’s. As Christians, we always have so much we can learn, no matter who we are. And our readings for this weekend reaffirm that truth. Each one speaks of something new in our understanding of God. This is only right and good—since God is beyond being fully graspable by our limited understanding.

The trick is to have the humility to constantly remind ourselves of that. Repeat as necessary, and it’s necessary very often indeed. We need constant reminders of the times God has resisted our efforts at trying to box God in according to our own human preferences for order and comprehensibility. Peter’s vision of God urging him to eat previously forbidden foods isn’t really about eating; it’s about welcoming people different than us as fully beloved children of God. Our reading from Revelation 21 is a rephrasing of Isaiah 65—pointing out that God is always doing new things. And in our gospel passage from John 13, Jesus says that he is providing a new commandment: to love one another, no exceptions– even as his betrayer has left to go hand over Jesus to torture and death.

“Be curious, not judgmental” is a great piece of advice when it comes to following Jesus ‘s “new” commandment to truly “love one another” in all aspects of our lives. It may be human nature to jump to snap decisions, but that’s a part of human nature we are called to master within ourselves.

There’s a word for prejudging people in particular. It’s called “prejudice.” And prejudice is antithetical to honoring the dignity and worth of every human being. We all have prejudices. But we all can recognize them, name them within ourselves, and engage in mindfully overcoming them in order to not only be a better human, but to be a better disciple of Jesus, which is the entire point of Christianity. Ultimately Christianity is about faith, yes— faith in God, but also faith in our call to keep stretching ourselves in that “love one another” part.

We proclaim that we have a living relationship with a living God. This means we are ever learning more about God, and God is ever revealing more about themselves to us. We could see this as God changing God’s mind, or we could see this as God expanding God’s revelation. This may make us uncomfortable— of course it can. But it also brings us to new knowledge and new relationships with ourselves and with others.

In Christ’s love,

Mother Leslie+